Thursday, April 3, 2014

Top Ten Music School Rankings

10. The school where you did your undergrad.

9. The school where you got your Master's, and to which you are indebted for the gigs it helped you get to pay off the student loans for the school where you did your undergrad.

8. The place where you wrote your DMA dissertation on your teacher's teacher's teacher's pedagogical methods (or lack thereof).

7. Juellerd. Julleard? Julliard. Jewelyard? Whatever.

6. Harvard.

5. The place you wanted to go for undergrad, but you fracked one single note in one single excerpt and then you panicked and broke down and called the trumpet professor "Dad" and then Dave got in even though he couldn't play Petrushka in time and he's always been kind of a dick about it and now he's subbing like every weekend in the fucking BSO.

4. Royal Something of Great British Academy I think? I hear they never let Americans in. Or maybe that's the other one?

3. The school that everybody knows isn't as good as the school where you did your undergrad, but is "up-and coming." Featuring a lauded entrepreneurship initiative that trains barista skills at one of the three coffee shops housed in its new state-of-the-art building, named for an alumnus of the university's business school currently facing indictment for fraud.

2. University of Phoenix.

1. The school that has paid to have this list promoted on Facebook.

16 comments:

  1. Brilliant! I loathe these lists.

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  2. Juilliard=zhweeYAR

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  3. This is hilarious. Are you a trumpet player? If not you pegged us completely. Cheers!

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  4. Not a trumpeter, but I lived in close proximity to quite a few at Northwestern, so I know the drill. Thanks!

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  5. This is great fun and and lucid.

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  6. When you become a pro, absolutely no one cares where you went to school.

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    1. Very true! Who cares. The question is: are you good at what you do?

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    2. True, but they still always ask:-)

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  7. Thanks for this. I've learned far more out here than I ever did at music school. I will share this: At auditions, if I perform first, my "pedigree" is NEVER an issue. However, if I'm questioned about my schooling and experience first, I know I don't want to work for those jug heads. Music is about your performance and ability to read 'on your feet' not how many schools you went into debt for.

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  8. I graduated from Oberlin, Michigan and Wisconsin and am currently a custodian in an apartment complex. I even won the concerto competition at 2 of the 3 schools and am in debt up to my eyeballs. I wish music schools would emphasize alternatives in the field of music, offer apprenticeships and internships and even require students to double major or double on a secondary "gig" instrument, so they could do well in the field.

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  9. Julliard is properly spelled "Berklee"

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  10. I love both classical and hip hop music and love to dance too. You have posted very interesting article on music ranking. It’s really amazing and informative.

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